STOP the INSANITY!

The headline reads “Elderly Woman Beaten and Robbed.”  How many captions of this nature do we see and dismiss?  Normally I would not even pause to consider the victim or the perpetrator, that is not until the “Elderly Woman” moved from an anonymous victim to a friend, co-laborer, and teammate.  Mrs. Gabriel is a kind-hearted resident of Fairfield Court.  She cares for her grand children, serves on the tenant council and comes faithfully twice a week to serve on our Embrace Fairfield team; at least she did until a twisted, cruel person beat her, robbed her and stole her peace of mind. 

It was not until this week, with the beating of this sweet elderly friend that I really realized the level of fear and oppression my friends live under.  Every Tuesday and Thursday, my team and I drive into some of the most dangerous neighborhoods in Richmond but it is easy to forget where we are.  We arrive to see the smiling faces of women like Mrs. Gabriel. They are the saints, the remnant, who were left behind to pray and seek justice for their impoverished neighbors.  Many of them have lived in these communities 30+ years and tell stories of how the projects used to be. How back in the day, children played on the streets and families cared for and supported one another.  Now mothers who care about their children keep them locked inside, and neighbors avoid one another and isolate behind closed doors.  The once peaceful communities are now controlled by drug dealers and their residents consumed by fear.

At the conclusions of our gatherings, my staff and I return to our safe havens in the suburbs, leaving behind our fragile friends in this crime infested battle zone.  When I heard the news about Mrs. Gabriel, I was sad but the sadness quickly turned to anger, then outrage.  This would never happen in my community, we would not stand for it!  I was even more shocked when my friend Charles was surprised by my anger and said “What’s wrong with you, this kind of thing is normal. They target the elderly on the 1^st of the month and follow them home from the store where they cash their social security check.” He said as if I should expect such things.  He sees the beating of the elderly as “normal”.  I suspect that Charles may have either known perpetrators of crimes of this nature or he could have even been the perpetrator back before he was freed from his 30 year addiction.

This event happened just a few days after I met a lovely man named Calvin.  Calvin is trying to raise awareness of what he feels is an unjust sentence imposed on his nephew.  His nephew was sentenced to 30 years in jail for possessing $350 of drugs.  My first thought was “Would a white kid in the burbs receive a 30 year sentence for possessing $350 in drugs?”  My heart went out to Calvin and the three small children who will grow up without a father.  It seemed so unjust, so extreme, so over the top.  But that was on Thursday and today is Sunday and a sweet little old lady is now in the hospital due to the madness of an addict.  I now empathize with that judge…the madness must stop! We are at war and the enemy is drugs and those who are supporting the drug trade. 

Drugs lie behind almost all of the suffering I have witnessed over the past five year.  It is the number one contributor to homelessness, domestic violence, child abuse and neglect, robberies, violence, and the utter insanity that plagues communities of intense poverty.  I believe in being tough on crime and I understand zero tolerance and the determination of those we have charged with the responsibility of protecting citizens like Mrs. Gabriel.  However, I am still haunted by the faces of the children at our inner city elementary schools, more than 25% of whom are growing up without parents due to incarceration.  How do we keep Mrs. Gabriel safe and give these kids what they need; healthy parents?   

In the past five years I have met some of the nicest addicts and have witnessed how their addiction leads them to do some very evil things.   I hate the violence but I have come to see that when these individuals are not using substances, they really can be contributing members of society.   They can be good mothers and fathers and most deeply love their families…that is when they are not on drugs.  I have also seen how these loving, caring parents can become some of the most neglectful hurtful people when they fall prey to addiction. The war is not between us and them, most do not want to live the way they are living.  The war is between them and the addiction that is stealing their lives and destroying our communities. 

I have interviewed a number of former inmates and all of them have confirmed that all jail did for them was make them better criminals.  They learned who the major players in the drug world were, where to get the best stuff, how to conceal the drugs better and  built a network to keep themselves safe on the outside.  Our jails are simply a school for criminals and we are turning out people with PHD’s in Criminal Behavior. 

I write this post not because I have an answer but more out of utter frustration that no one seems to have a clue how to address this issue but worse is the fact that the vast majority of us do not even care to try.  Mrs. Gabriel is “down there” and we are “out here”.  It is not our problem.  “Those people” need to figure it out.   As a society, we have done some amazing things, found the cure for deadly diseases, achieved major advances in technology, but we cannot rid our community of drugs or prevent the suffering it causes.  30 year jail sentences are not the answer but neither is allowing my friends like Mrs. Gabriel to live in fear.  There has to be a better way!

Toward a Free and Virtuous City

 

This past week I spent three days at a conference with Acton Institute attending their “Toward a Free and Virtuous City” conference.  I did not know much about Acton before I went, but the trip was free and I wanted to go to New York so I gambled and it paid off.  I learned a lot and there are still an number of concepts that I am still wrestling with.  Below are some of the ideas that I gleaned from the conference that I really liked.

The Principle of Subsidiarity

Subsidiarity – is an organizing principle that matters ought to be handled by the smallest, lowest or least centralized competent authority.

Social Structures lowest to highest:  The lowest possible structure should assume responsibllity

The Individual   

Immediate Family           

Extended Family             

Neighbors          

Community

Church Family   

Civic Groups                  

Local Government          

State Gov           

Federal Government

While I agree with this concept, here is what I wrestle with:  What if the lower structures are not “competent” to deal with an issue.  Individuals who are disabled, family structures that are unhealthy, communities that are under resourced, issues that are too complex for local and state governments.  I agree with my friends from Acton that the lower structures are the “ideal” and I think we have all grown too comfortable looking to the Federal Government to meet all the needs.  However, I also know that in many families and communities, the ideal is simply not possible.  While I think we need to strive to move toward it as a long-term goal, I also think we need to have short-term measures to address human suffering but that avoid long-term dependency.

               

7 Marks of Effective Private Charities – Marvin Olasky http://www.acton.org/ppolicy/compassion/ppolicy_compassion_olasky.php

1. Affiliation – those who know the person by natural affiliation are best able to assist.  The family should be the first line of assistance and family restoration should be the goal of the private charity if restoration would be healthy for all members of the family.
2. Bonding – when no natural affiliations exist, care givers should enter into a relationship as a surrogate family with a willingness to become deeply involved in an individual’s life but with the individuals best interests not our need to “help” as the guiding principle.  Sometimes family have to choose tough love and as the family of God we can do no less.
3. Categorization – effective care givers understand that everyone’s needs are different and use discernment to decide who is “worthy” of assistance.  “Work tests” are often used to separate those who are ready for assistance from those who are not.

Passage from the Didache and ancient Christian teaching – “But receive everyone who comes in the name of the Lord, and prove and know him afterward; for you shall have understanding right and left. If he who comes is a wayfarer, assist him as far as you are able; but he shall not remain with you more than two or three days, if need be. But if he wants to stay with you, let him work and eat. But if he has no trade,  see to it that, as a Christian, he shall not live with you idle. But if he wills not to work, he is a Christ-monger. Beware that you keep away from such.”

1. Discernment – wise giving and wise withholding are alike forms of charity.  Sometimes doing nothing is the best response.
2. Employment – If we want to help people move toward self-sufficiency we MUST insure that all have the opportunity to work.  It is the only sustainable means of alleviating poverty.  Those who choose not to work should reap the consequences of this choice.

Fr. Robert Sirico, president of the Acton Research Institute states, “When we do something for someone that they could do for themselves, we are disrespecting that person.”

1. Freedom – We must help individuals realize their full potential and not allow them to become enslaved by governmental program or hopelessness that keeps them from realizing their true potential.  When we cause another to become dependent on assistance from another we are enslaving them.
2. God – true charity takes into account both the spiritual and physical needs of the person.

 

The concepts above are affirming of the efforts we have made at Embrace and also challenging.  I am still pondering how to put these theories into practice but took the first step by weaving them into our Unity Works training sessions. Should be an interesting conversation.   Lots to think about.  Please share your thoughts.

Street Saints

Check out The Nehemiah Strategy at www.unity-works.org

 

http://unity-works.org/2009/08/05/the-nehemiah-strategy/

Empowering a Movement – A search for missional structures

Servant Leaders, Servant Structures

Elizabeth O’Connor

http://wp.theoblogical.org/?page_id=3782

Insights from Chapter 1

I have been seeking to discern how to build organizational structures that foster creativity and unleash the missional imagination of people seeking to follow Christ in tangible ways in our community.  Church of the Savior is one of only a handful of Christian ministries I have found that has achieved this objective masterfully.  In Chapter One of Servant Leaders, Servant Structures, available in full at http://wp.theoblogical.org/?page_id=3782, Elizabeth O’Connor provides us with insights into the history, successes and struggles in the formation of Church of The Savior and the many missional expressions of the church which have emerged out of this gathering of faithful Christ followers. 

Below are a few insights I found interesting.

O’Connor shares that “In time [founder Gordon Cosby] was to believe even more deeply in ordinary persons who, in turn, were to believe more deeply in themselves. This is probably why the community that has come into being under his leadership gives so little attention to credentials.”

Paradoxically, this community which takes so little notice of degrees gives inordinate attention to education. In every eleven-week semester… classes dealing with some aspect of the inward-outward journey are offered. They vary in content and focus, and range all the way from “discovery of self” to journalizing and contemplation. Most of the classes are conducted in the manner of a seminar with each student presenting findings from the application of the week’s assignment in the living out of his or her life.

Gordon Cosby was to say that this concept [annual recommitment to the disciplines of the church], perhaps more than any other, was the one destined to be the most helpful in retaining integrity of membership.

As we grew in our understanding of silence, we gave more emphasis to the contemplative life. When we become too busy, Dayspring is always there as a reminder that there is no true creativity apart from contemplation.

If the church was to find servant structures, the small groups had to be formed around focused and defined missions with each mission also committed to an inward journey of prayer, worship and study.

Gordon Cosby still feels that the churches, in their quest for structures that nurture life in people, must know that they are venturing into new territory, and that the resources for their exploration rest in the tremendous untapped potential of their own people. The difficulty is that we so often lack confidence in ourselves and in our companions and search for the answers in some other place.

In his preaching and in his conversation he was reminding his own little band that the call of God was a call to create a new kind of community that would be distinguished by its humanness. It would be so human that those in it would do whatever was needed so that everyone in the world might be free. He was reissuing the call to which we had first made response. Later he was to tell the moderators of newly formed mission groups, “A time comes in the life of every group when it loses sight of its goals and must choose them again. Your job will be to sound again the call, to be the bearer of the vision-articulating it in your own life and helping others to see it.”

We formed classes in Christian Vocation. In these classes we were taking a deeper and longer look at the whole matter of call as having to do with the transcendent-the being grasped by that which is greater than we. We began with the basic assumption of the New Testament that there was no way to be the church except by the call of Christ, and that there were a number of dimensions to this call.  The class dealt primarily with the fourth dimension. If the church is a sent people, where was Christ sending each of us?  The call was to move out-to discover where we were to lay down our lives-to take up the stance of the suffering servant, and make witness to the power of Jesus Christ’s work in us.

Actually call was to come to most of us through the ordinary events of life, which were to be extraordinary events because we brought to them a new quality of asking and listening.

Our sermons, classes, and conferences were all concerned with helping others to hear call and discern gifts. We found ourselves so often asking, “What would you like to do?” is a question we still ask indiscriminately-of the very young and the very old, of poor and rich, oppressed and oppressors, and then we listen very carefully and take with utmost seriousness what a person says.

We worked out a procedure requiring every mission to be confirmed by the Church Council. This never meant to us that everyone had to be enthusiastic about every call. Oftentimes we have had to be willing to let another move even when we have large reservations.  Our learning to do this with a certain degree of ease, probably more than any other factor, accounts for the proliferation of mission groups in the community of The Church of The Savior.

We have found it incredibly hard to hold to the concept of the inward and outward journeys. We early discovered that not many persons want them both. Weighted heavily on one side or the other, most of us struggle intensely to keep these two dimensions in any kind of creative tension in our individual and our corporate lives.

[When Cosby was] asked, “What do you think the future of the church is?” He replied, “I have never had a helpful answer to that question. Have no idea. I do not know what the judgments of God are or what will be the breakthroughs of God’s power.” Then he stopped for a long pause and added, “I do not need the church to have a visible or successful future in order for me to feel safe as a person. I’m glad to leave it to God’s sovereignty. It is his church-not mine.”

To fight for integrity of membership within existing structures is certainly extraordinarily difficult, but there is hardly any path that frees one from that struggle. In all of us something powerful is at work which seeks to remake the new concepts into the old. “Community” can quickly be changed into “conformity,” and “call” into “duty.”

The inward-outward structure of the mission groups defines the church as a servant people called into existence to be the community for others.

What we did at that important juncture in our life was to face the importance of structurally implementing a description of “Who we are.”[as defined by their disciplines]

The Council as the governing body of the church was reorganized as a “Mission Council,” comprised of two representatives from each confirmed mission group, who served in rotating order for a period of a year. Representatives reported to their groups what transpired in Council meetings. Any decisions made were binding on the whole membership. When the Council determined that an issue was of such nature as to require confirmation by the total membership, a general congregational meeting was called.

Our mission group structures are tougher and more durable because they have had to cope with the financial dimension. A group responsible for its own finance is not likely to close shop for the summer or to show laxity in ways that it might if someone else were footing the bill. Furthermore, when the money is ours we relate to the whole sphere of economics in a way that would not otherwise happen. This became increasingly evident as our missions in the inner city placed us in the midst of the poor. We returned to our homes at night feeling less easy with our own life styles.

In our small church community the mission groups began to multiply. They were structures that Gordon Cosby had helped to form and that were, in turn, forming him. Although his life was given to working with all the small groups, he was a member of only one, subject to its covenant, under the authority of those whose gifts had been confirmed, his heart and mind enlarged and stretched by commitment to the few. He believed too passionately that strong leadership existed within all the groups. He was, however, and still is available to any group as guide and counselor. Sometimes he is called in at points of crisis to be a reconciler. More often he counsels a group in the early stages of its formation when members are defining their strategy,

The mission structure gave us a people to companion us in our individual freedom movement. Everyone struggles to break away from the oppressive inner structures that make us all prisoners of one kind or another. We need a people to journey with us out of our own Egypt into the broad land that is promised to all who believe in Him.

Summary of Insights that I think may be helpful in empowering a missional movement in Richmond

1. Commitment to integrity of membership by insisting on a high level of commitment to defined disciplines which shaped corporate identity
2. Strong commitment lay leadership and belief in ordinary people
3. Strong emphasis on education around both the inward [contemplative] and outward [missional] journey
4. Missional groups as the organizing structure [Mission Council] and mission as organizing principle; unwavering commitment to the church as sent people existing for others

Working on my book…

I have received an offer to publish my first book from CASCADE Books.  I will be spending most of my writing time working on this project over the next several months so I will not be blogging as much.   I will keep you posted as the project comes together.

Monday I had the privilege of interviewing Ellis Henderson about the role of the black church in the lives of impoverished communities with specific attention on prosperity teachings which are so common within many of these churches.  It was a fascinating discussion and I learned a lot from Ellis and am looking forward to weaving his insights into an upcoming chapter I am working on.

On Wednesday I interviewed Charles Fitzgerald about his journey out of homelessness and his three years of sobriety after spending 30 years in active addiction.  Charles has amazing insights into the mind of those stuck in addiction and the key to escaping that trap.

On Wednesday I also interviewed Becky and LaKisha about their experience being an encouragor and an encouragee.  Lakisha has experienced sickening levels of sexual harassment in the workplace and shared how having Becky as her cheerleader, advocate and friend helped her find her voice and stand up for what is right.

Charles, Ellis, Becky and LaKisha’s stories will be paired with my own experiences with the urban church, substance abuse, and injustice in three of the chapters I am working on. 

I have learned so much during my interviews; pray I am able to impart the wisdom that has been shared by those who have invested their time in telling me their stories.

I Support the Separation of Church and Hate

 

 

Today my daughters and I attended the Veg Fest, a vegetarian food festival.  Two of my daughters are now professing vegetarians.  As you would expect there were a number of animal rights groups, and books on how to be a vegan, and tie died banners with peace symbols…you get the feel.

In addition to lots of tofu dishes, there were also a number of non-profits; the one that caught my eye was Big Brothers Big Sisters.  I was thrilled to see someone who valued the lives of children as much as the lives of animals.  I found it ironic that of all the human services agencies in the city that this particular agency was present.    

You see, last night we had dinner with friends who had just attended a conference on the need for paternal involvement in the lives of young people in our city.  The statistics for Richmond city of young people growing up without a father are staggering:  Non-marital births in Richmond City are nearly twice that of the United States or Virginia at large currently at 63% with the white rate at 24% and the black rate at 84%.

Below is a quote from The Virginia Department of Health:

Fatherless Children are:

• 5 times more likely to be poor
• 2 times more likely to drop out of school
• 150% more likely to experience teen pregnancy
• 70% of juveniles in state institutions grew up in fatherless homes
• 72% of adolescent murderers grew up without their fathers

None of these stats were surprising to me.  The statistics within RRHA public housing, where many of our clients reside, are even more depressing with close to 95% of families being single parent households. 

When my friend suggested I start going to the meetings around this issue, I got a bit irritated.  I have sat in meeting after meeting with folks spouting statistics and calling for change but never see anyone put forth a plan or take action to help the young girls and boys who are caught in this vicious cycle.  I ended my dinner with my friend asking “So what can we do about it?  What is the solution?”

Then today, there they were:  Big Brothers Big Sisters!  Amid homeless dogs and multi colored cauliflower sprouts, they were a shining beacon of sanity….someone I could relate to as a carnivore.  I rushed to the table eager to learn about their program.  The volunteer behind the table was very helpful explaining that their program pairs at-risk youth with caring adults in a one on one mentoring relationship.  I then asked her what the greatest need was and she said, “Caring adults, we currently have 400 children on the waiting list.” 

That broke my heart, 400 kids eager to have a meaningful relationship with an adult and no adults willing to invest in those children.  I then shared with her that I ran a non-profit called Embrace Richmond and surprisingly she knew all about us.  I shared that we had lots of congregational partners and that we were targeting three high risk communities where many of our clients lived and would love to explore partnering with their program. 

Then she dropped the bomb on what I thought was a God ordained meeting, she said “Oh Church people do not make good mentors, we have had really bad luck working with them.  College students are far better mentors.”  I was a bit shocked.  Jesus loved little children, he was the one who said “Let the little children come to me.” 

I inquired as to why they had had such a negative experience with Christians and she said “They always have a hidden agenda, they don’t do this out of a desire to love the kids, they are only interested in ‘saving their soul’ but have little interest in developing lasting relationships.   A desire to ‘convert’ someone to your way of thinking is not a healthy basis for a lasting relationship.  My heart sunk to the floor.  I knew what she was saying was true; it is the number one challenge we face in recruiting “encouragers” for our adults.  It is so hard to find Christians who just want to love people; Christians who are willing to leave the ‘saving’ up to the Holy Spirit; Christians who just want to be like Christ and love like Christ, unconditionally. 

With this blow, I convinced my daughter it was time for us to go.  As we were walking out there was a car parked next to us with a bumper sticker that read “I support the separation of Church and Hate.”  It reminded me of a recent conversation I had with my daughter.  She said, “Mom, I don’t want to be called a ‘Christian’.”  I asked her why and she said “Because everyone thinks Christians are judgmental, closed minded, arrogant people.”  I thought to myself, “If that what Christian means, I don’t want to be one either.”

Micah 6:8 says “What does the Lord require of you?  To do justice and love kindness and to walk humbly with your God.”   I think the church needs to rediscover biblical teachings on humility.   My greatest frustration with the church is the level of spiritual arrogance; arrogance that keeps us from working together and arrogance that causes the world to see us as hateful people.  Lord grant us humility!  Help us all support the separation of Church and Hate!

Tomorrow is Father’s Day, I ask you all to say a special prayer for all the children in our city who are growing up without a father.  Pray for Big Brothers Big Sisters and the work they are doing in raising up caring adults to help these young people avoid become just another statistic.  Pray for the adults called to be big brothers and big sisters who are out there but who don’t know how to connect.   Also pray for all the fathers out there who need to be reconciled with their families. Lastly, pray for a movement to spread across this nation reversing the current trend toward single headed households.   May God raise up fathers both biological and spiritual!

Empowering Youth through Mission

For the past two months we have been doing home visitation with more than a dozen formerly homeless families all of whom live in Richmond public housing.  As we walk through these neighborhoods, I am always astounded by the number of children playing outside in the barren front yards littered with trash and broken glass, the gatherings of teens hanging out behind the buildings, and the number of adults sitting on the front stoops.  We come in contact with literally hundreds of people as we walk these communities.

The contrast to my own suburban community is stark.  Our yards are lush and green, we have nice safe hiking and biking trails that run around a lake with more than a dozen playgrounds.  However, I rarely see more than a handful of children outside and it is even rarer to see adults.  Our children are huddled inside in the air conditioning playing video games, texting their friends, posting on facebook, participating in organized sports, or listening to their IPods.   

The youth in the inner city lack constructive activities, the youth in the burbs are over scheduled, the youth in the projects lack opportunities, the youth in the burbs lack perspective, the youth in the hood lack material goods, the youth in the burbs are obsessed with consumerism and materialism.  However, both have the same needs; a sense of purpose.

In the book “Reclaiming Youth at Risk; Our Hope for the Future” by Brendtro, Brokenleg, and Van Bockem emphasize the dangers of this loss of purpose.

“Poor black youth who shoot up drugs on street corners and the rich white youths who do the same thing in their mansions share a common disconnectedness from any hope or purpose”  Marian Wright Edelman, Children’s Defense Fund

“More and more people today have the means to live but no meaning to their existence.  Young people cannot develop a sense of their own value unless they have opportunities to be of value to others. “

“German educator Kurt Hahn described modern youth as suffering from the “misery of unimportance.””

“Deprived of opportunities for genuine productivity, lured into consumptive roles, young people come to believe that their lives make little difference in the world.”

“There are many calls for a return to the spirit of service among contemporary youth to counter the attitude of “looking out for number one”. “

This summer we will be putting the ideas discussed in this book into practice as we bring together urban and suburban youth around the shared mission of being a blessing to their community.   

If you feel called to this mission of empowering urban and suburban youth, please contact me at wendy@embracerichmond.org. 

If you want to know more about the book “Reclaiming Youth at Risk” we will be discussing it  in more detail at www.unity-works.org.  Please  get a copy and join the conversation.

The Tangible Kingdom

If you are interested in what God is doing through the Missional Church, I highly recommend, The Tangible Kingdom by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay.  Below are a few of my favorite quotes:

“We have preached and listened to the preachers who tell us a story we’d all love to find ourselves in, yet we feel the gap between what we hear and talk about and what we experience.”

“ The idea of God’s kingdom is now relegated to the realm of heaven, the afterlife, and we just assume that we won’t get to see God and His beautiful redemptive plan until we pass over. The church therefore becomes something we may not need any more something that at its best is worth only our recreational enjoyment. Our massive hope about God, His Kingdom, and our place in a unique community of people who change the world is all but dead, and we are left feeling like the searcher who wants in but who is reluctant to face the dangers of navigating our collective faith and purpose.”

“I had became a card-carrying member of what I call the “jaded” denomination. You know, people who have a hard time finding coherence between their faith in God and there experience in the church; people who are sick of that same old song, same lingo, same methods, same discouraging results, and same spiritual emptiness. No, I did not leave the church entirely, like 25-million plus and growing, other dechurched Christians are doing in America. But I wanted to. “

“ We want to let you know that the unsettling feelings you are experiencing are ones that hundreds and thousands of people are also working through.” 

“Our goal isn’t to attract Christian people to our worship service but to be the faithful church in small pockets throughout our city. We are creating places of inclusive belonging where God’s alternative kingdom can be experienced.”

“You might expect, therefore, that we ask you to leave your safe harbor and sail off into the stormy seas. But the harbor does not represent safety. It represents God’s kingdom. His life. His reality.  What we believe we should find and what church can direct us to. In actuality, it communicates exactly what we believe is the call of the church: Find and help others find Gods beautiful city.”

 “If Christianity was only about finding a group of people to live life with, who shared openly their search for God and allowed anyone, regardless of behavior, to seek too, and who collectively lived by faith to make the world a little more like heaven, would you be interested?…What people are asking for is the kingdom of God made tangible.”

“Hundreds of thousands of Christians believe you can’t get into heaven without “praying the sinners pray,” even though Jesus granted salvation to many without one reference to a person praying a prayer. Even post resurrection, there is no precedence for praying a prayer as the ticket to eternity.” 

“By starting with Christology (the life of Jesus), which informs our missiology (how we live), we’ll have a better chance of finding common ground with our ecclesiology (how we do church).”

“To move forward, we can’t keep everything we’ve always had. We have to pick what to take, what is absolutely necessary, and leave behind some things that have been important to us. What used to provide comfort now may only take up space or be a hindrance to getting where we need to go… This is right in step with God’s usual way of engaging His mission. He just packs light! He loves to trim off anything that would slow us down, hinder us, or make the journey more difficult….When you don’t have all the “stuff” you’re left with a lot more time to spend with people.”

“Church must not be the goal of the gospel anymore. Church should not be the focus of our efforts or the banner we hold up to explain what we’re about. Church should be what ends up happening as a natural response to people wanting to follow us, be with us, and be like us as we are following the way of Christ.”

“Influence does not happen to us by extracting us from the world for the sake of our own values, but by bringing our values into the culture….We must go out and then let church reemerge as a reflection and the natural outgrowth of our missional way of life…We knew the message would make more sense if you  saw it lived out in our lives.”

“The incarnational big-story gospel will require a place of discovery, where people will be able to see the truth before they here about. This place will not be a location but a community of people who are inclusive of everyone.  These people will be making eternity attractive by how they live such selfless lives now,  and will be modeling life in a New Kingdom in ways that will make it easy for other people to give it a try. People like this are not desperate to convert everyone; they are desperate to be like Christ and to be where Christ is. There heartbeat to be transformed into the image of Christ, and to pray and work for little specks of transformation in everyone and everything they touch. Success is faithfulness. The rest is up to God.”

“I think we should start by looking for ways to witness to this gospel by bringing tangible slices of heaven down to life on earth, and continue to do this until those we are reaching out to acknowledge that our ways are “good news” to them. If you  are really living the good news, you will have plenty of opportunities to explain the theological aspects of the gospel. But if we continue to lead off with words about the gospel instead of acts of the gospel we will continue to jip people… The incarnational way culminates in this primary difference: belonging enables believing.”

“I am not sure how we got where we are, but it’s amazing  that we think our most powerful times, our most intimate spiritual experiences, are supposed to happen within in the comfortable confines of our church services. The biblical evidence is overwhelmingly and is crystal clear that god’s power is most naturally meant to happen “out there”!”

 ‘Remember, Jesus came not to judge the world but to save the world. You can’t save the ones you judge. You can only save the ones you are connected to.”

“Did you know that we are all created with a built in desire to love the world, to bless people?  Way back when…God set up a deal with humanity.  Genesis 12:1-3: “The LORD had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.

 ² “I will make you into a great nation
       and I will bless you;
       I will make your name great,
       and you will be a blessing.

 ³ I will bless those who bless you,
       and whoever curses you I will curse;
       and all peoples on earth
       will be blessed through you.”

Ultimately, Gods offer to us to share his blessing with others is how we find our deepest sense of personal meaning and satisfaction.  Jesus said it this way: ^“For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.” (Mark 8, 35)… Jesus mentions blessing as giving sight to the blind, captives being set free, debts being paid off, food for the hungry, friends for the lonely, meaningful employment for the discouraged and self doubting,  rest for the weary, and anything else that could be felt or touched on terra firma. The Tangible Kingdom! Blessing wasn’t just nice things you said to make people forget about their problems. It was actually doing something about their problems.”

“The call to community is not about finding people just like us, or at the exclusion of other people. Community in the biblical sense is clearly about unlike people finding Christ at the center of their inclusive life together…Mother Teresa said this: “if you have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we  belong to each other.”

“Consumerism is based on the belief that I can’t help others until I help myself, that my wants and needs trump the needs of others…We all fight the same consumer tendencies, and we must struggle as a community to limit what we need inside the church so others can get what they need in the world.”

“The goal of our missional life is not to grow churches. The goal of the church is to grow missionaries. The goal of the gospel is not to get people to church. The result of the gospel is that people will find each other and gather because of deep meaning of a common experience.”

“In Hebrews 10:24-25, we have the only direct encourage for people to gather: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. ²⁵Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another.”  Mission creates meaning and a context for the gathering.”

The Plans, The Hope, The Future

One of my all time favorite passages of scripture is Jeremiah 29:11; “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

This past week I resigned my position as the Director of CARITAS Works.  I have been in the process of transitioning out for the past two months and with the addition of Karen O’Brien I was finally ready and able to hand the furniture bank off fully to CARITAS.  It was exciting and sad all at the same time.  I was actually a little shocked at the sadness because I have been working toward this goal for more than two years.  I think the sadness was more about feeling a little lost than about actually wanting to keep the furniture bank.  It only took me about a day to morn the loss and to begin to see the future God has been preparing.

For the past few months I have been spending a lot of time in prayer and solitude seeking to discern what’s next for me and Embrace and in the past few weeks, the haze of confusion that has so clouded my mind has started to lift.  I think the key word for me in this season is “integrate”.  In the past five years I have birthed three ministries; Quest which was a small group ministry for women that I started when I first moved to Richmond, Shine which was a missional small group ministry for youth that I did with my daughter, and Embrace which was focused on the needs of the homeless population.  When the furniture bank component of Embrace grew so large, I had to let go of Quest and Shine.  However, I have longed for the day when I could bring all three together.  I think that day has come. 

I have had a large number of people over the years lament the fact that there are no opportunities for families to go on mission together in the local context in a relational way.  I have also become increasingly aware of the lack of community and belonging both in the suburban and urban context.  What if I combined the community building aspects of Quest, with the youth focus of Shine and the missional heart of Embrace into one?  What if instead of separating women, men and youth into separate groups and then dividing those groups up into mission, bible studies and fellowship groups, we instead put it all together?  What would it look like to be the family of God on mission together as families?

I heard a new word this week; it was the word “twinning”.  I learned that the Catholic churches in the area are “twinning” with congregations in Haiti.  The one congregation that I was visiting with was going to start an organic garden at their church and help a congregation in Haiti do the same thing.  I liked this idea of two communities from different areas doing the same thing but in different context.  The struggles in Richmond will be different than the struggles in Haiti but they are both on the same mission “to grow an organic garden” in order to feed those in need in their community and they can each share their journey and will likely help one another learn as they go.

The mission of Embrace has always been to help prevent and end homelessness by mobilizing people of faith.  What I have come to see in the last few months is that if we do not invest in urban young people, the cycle of poverty and homelessness will continue and if we do not invest in suburban young people the destructive patterns of materialism and consumption will continue to erode our sense of community and belonging. 

So what if we tried some “twinning” around empowering youth?  What if we started a missional community in suburbs that had the mission of empowering young people to be a blessing to their community (which was the Shine mission) and we twinned that group with a missional community in the urban setting that had the same mission of empowering youth and blessing the community.  The mission is the same but the challenges will be different.  In the urban setting people tend to have more time and in the suburban setting people tend to have more resources.  Many of our urban youth have developed a strong faith which has helped them persevere through great challenges and our suburban youth have often benefited from education and enrichment programs that have fostered their creativity and talents.  I believe bringing these two together would be a blessing to both. 

I am still praying about exactly what this might look like but some amazing things happened this week.  A lovely lady I have known for years offered her home school network facility, which is near Chesterfield Town Center, to us as a gathering place.  It is a great space with a large group meeting area and four good size classrooms.  This would provide us with a place to gather, plan and meet before mission events.

I also met a lovely woman who is doing amazing work with inner city girls in Hillside Court.  We have hired two summer interns who will both be focusing on empowering youth, both suburban and urban, throughout the summer.  In addition, the past few weeks we have been doing home visits in the east end with our clients.  In those visits we have met some wonderful people many of whom want to be a part of blessing their community. 

I heard at the conference I went to last month a description of the church that I really liked.  They described the church as “The family of God on mission together.”  I am thankful that so many of you are already on mission with us.  It has been such a joy to meet so many people who are passionate about what God is doing in our city.  I am thankful the season of letting go is over.  I hope you will travel with us through this season of integration.  If you have any ideas or questions please either leave your post here or contact me via email at wendy@embracerichmond.org. 

Ode to My Mom; and All Other “Abnormal” Mothers Out There

A few years ago my youngest daughter said to me, “Mom why aren’t you a normal mom?”  I asked her to define “normal mom” and she said, “You know, the kind of mom that is always at the bus stop, eats lunch at school with her kids, and who puts notes in my lunch box.”  In other words, the culturally constructed image of the “perfect” mother; the kind of mom whose life revolves around her children, and who values her family above all else.  What child would not want that kind of mom?  I can remember as a child having similar feelings though I was never bold enough to say such things to my mother.  I did, however, think them.  When Caroline said those words to me, I felt like I had been socked in the stomach.  Was I doing this mommy thing all wrong?  Or, was there perhaps another image of a mom that while not the cultural norm, could be equally as healthy?

I am thankful that I was raised by a woman who refused to become who society wanted her to be; a woman who has lived everyday of her life striving to be the unique, amazing, sometimes odd woman God created her to be.  She is not your typical mother, and all I can do is praise God for that. Without her lively spirit and her zest for life, I would not be who I am.  I pray someday my daughter will come to appreciate my uniqueness as I have come to appreciate my mother’s.  This mother’s day, I want to celebrate one of the early “abnormal mothers”, a woman I hope my daughters will seek to emulate; a woman who simply wanted to be true to who God created her to be, in all her uniqueness.  I want to celebrate my mom.

I was born in Lampasas, Texas in 1967.  (Yes, that beautiful baby in the picture is me.)   Lampasas is a sleepy little rural Texas town with a population of about 4,000 people at the time I was growing up and a culture that was closer to the 1950’s than the 1960’s.  At the time of my birth, my mother was 19 years old.  She had dropped out of school at the age of 16 to marry my dad, her high school sweetheart.  My mom had grown up in the military and had seen the world but found herself living in a community where few had ever ventured outside the county line.

My sister was born two years after me and my mom and dad were your typical working class family.  Dad worked at the local Drive In as an assistant manager and mom stayed home with my sister and I.  But she was always dreaming of her next adventure.  She sold jewelry, spent a lot of time with her friends, and threw a lot of parties.  At the time I did not like the parties and I’ll be honest, I never liked her friends.  My mom had a strange taste in friends. I think it was because she never really fit in with the “normal” mothers.   I asked her once why her friends were all so weird and she replied, “Because, I like interesting people.”

She had a special knack for attracting people in crisis.  She even moved several of them in with us! There was the two teenage boys who had taken to the road to “find themselves”, several alcoholics whose wives had kicked them out, and family members who were just down on their luck.  Those she did not move into the house she spent hours at the kitchen table counseling.  Everyone knew that if you needed help, Sissy Miiller would listen without judgment and when necessary take in the weary traveler.  I really hated having house guests growing up.  Especially the type of guest my mom invited in.  I wanted my family to myself and I deeply resented the amount of attention my mom paid to these really messed up people.  I was also embarrassed to have my friends over because no other family I knew was running a homeless shelter out of their house.

Once my sister and I reached grade school, my mom’s party days ended as did the house guests as we settled into a more “normal” family life with my mother deciding to join the workforce.  She got her GED and in a matter of a few short years, she climbed the ranks in the local bank and was the Vice President of mortgage lending.  From there, she started her own mortgage company which she then sold many years later to start raising Emu and Ostrich on the ranch of her business partner.  From there she started her own embroidery company and to this day, she is continually dreaming of new adventures.  My mom is anything but boring.

I think my mom’s decision to take in people in crisis and to befriend social outcasts was one of the hardest things for me to deal with growing up.  I wanted her to be “normal” and to do “normal” mommy things, but I now realize that though I did not like her choices, somewhere deep inside me, my mom planted a seed of compassion that I know would not exist without her living such a compassionate life.  I think the gift of compassion is worth 1000 school lunches and countless love notes.  I never doubted she loved me because she loved everyone so feely and genuinely.  I always knew I could talk to her about anything because she never judged anyone.

So why don’t I go to lunch  at the elementary school or greet my daughter everyday at the bus stop?  Because God has called me to the same mission as my mother, to befriend interesting people and to show compassion to my hurting neighbors.  I know I will not win the “Suzy Homemaker” award.  My children will not remember me for my cooking, my spotless house, or my attentiveness to all their needs.  But I do hope they will remember me as one who loved much and who sought to live a compassionate life.   I don’t know if my daughters will every fully understand my choices, but I know I am grateful that my mom choose to be a bit odd and fought against the cultural tide of conformity to claim the life God created for her.  That is what I want for my girls.  I don’t care if they grow up to be successful or wealthy, all I can hope for is that they become fully who God created them to be and continue the tradition started by my mom of redefining the “normal” mom.

I pray our society discovers a new definition of the “normal” mom.  I have a few suggestions as to how we might think of redefining “normal”:

• So what if the “normal “ mom looked a little more like Mother Theresa and a little less like Martha Stewart?
• What is instead of hanging out at the mall, she hung out at the soup kitchen?
• What if instead of spending her money and time on having the perfect hair, nails, and  outfit, she invested in disadvantaged children?
• What if instead of spending hours hanging out on the soccer field, the “normal” family spent that time building relationships with the poor?
• What if instead of being only focused internally, the “normal” mom was also focused outwardly toward a world in need of the love she has to give?

So Happy Mother’s Day Mom, thanks for helping redefine “normal” and thanks for being so weird!